according to dating websites, there are no other fish in the sea!

 

When I was about 16, Facebook was in its baby stages, myspace was officially OLD, so naturally I migrated and joined every app I possibly could to fill out my 'page'... I recently rediscovered an older app called 'Are You Interested?'

whereby the basic of most basic principles is applied. There is a picture of you, a picture of a guy, if you like the guy's pic and he likes yours, you match. whoopee.  When I went to Uni, I think I probably updated my location or something and it just stuck at Portsmouth.

Except now theyve upgraded just a slight ....HUGE amount. Now they can send you automated messages like 'What's your favourite movie', 'What is currently on your Spotify list', ' Would you like to go to the movies with me' or my personal grammatical failure favourite 'Who wants to go to a bar and hang?'.... I made the mistake of checking my inbox and it was full..... over 450 automated messages from complete sodding random men from around the world and I mean THE WORLD... including Kazakhstan which until bloody Borat came out I didn't even know existed let alone had internet capabilities.
So out of sheer boredom, I started deleting them... of course you can't mass delete they have to be deleted one-by-one-by-one-by-one-by-one-by-one-by-one-by-one-by-one-by-one-by-one-by-one-by-one-by-one-by-one-by-one-by-one-by-one-by-one-by-one-by-one-by-one-by-one-by-one-by-one-by-one-by-one-by-one-by-one-by-one-by-one-by-one.
But by now I am curious, so I change my location by to...(insert home location here) and am  HORRIFIED to discover that not only are my first 100 results all guys I know, they are mostly guys I went to school with and thought were complete knobs 4 years ago and I havent changed my mind!
And now the brilliance of the upgrade comes in, because not only can I see that my 'sea' has now shrunk, it has shrunk to include the 'friends of friends' I dont even like, so now my sea is full of idiots, twats and best bud accomplicies. Christ I really am doomed!

WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE GENTLEMEN!?
   WHAT HAPPENED TO DATING?

WHAT HAPPENED TO ROMANCE AND FLOWERS AND DANCING?

If anyone out there knows please get in touch, this Dead Sea imagery may be morose but I am damned if I am settling for less than a little romance. Good grief, I can't believe I am saying this, SOMEONE FIND ME A GENTLEMEN!!!

The Voices and I agree that the sea is full of dead fish.