we've been done over yet again

In my family, I usually do a lot of the 'domestic' stuff that normally a mum would do. I.e. washing, cleaning, cooking, food shopping,etc. Stuff that a lot of us are fairly ungrateful for until we get old enough to have to start doing it ourselves. As it is, I have taken on a lot of this domesticity from my mum because she can no longer do it.

And I hate doing it, but ill be honest, I don't mind it as much because she cant physically do it, not because she won't. So as it is, I don't have to pay rent or bills or things like that because essentially me and my mum feel I pay my way through housework and other bits. I also don't pay for my car insurance. I used to share my little car 'Beowulf' with my Dad, not that I used it very much as I don't do much driving other than to my stables, gym and to visit my nan to do her cleaning. But I liked having the fact that if I needed to go out or I had plans for dinner, I had a car there, every night and I could pretty much come and go as I please.

Now my younger brother, is a twat. I can say it nicely or I can say it bluntly. His driving downright SCARES me. Its dangerous in my eyes, he drives like a goddamned maniac .. typical boy racer sort of shit. And as such, he is basically on his third car since he passed his test just over 3 years ago. So I wouldn't trust him with a frigging Matchbox car let alone my little car.
And to my utter horror, around mid August he had another accident and literally totalled his car, now whether you chose to believe his story or not is up to you. I don't.
His car was a complete write off and he couldn't even drive it home. Long and short of it is, is now an ongoing insurance battle that I don't really care about and im certain he is going to lose. Anyway, so until he turns 21, we would end up paying through the neck - because hes too skint with a full time job and a serious addiction to gaming, drinking, smoking and doing stupid and expensive shit - so my dad decides to wait till hes 21 to add him to the insurance for the little blue car.
Yippee.

And so this week Robert has turned 21. And I have seen the fucking car ONCE since. Now according to my dad, he told Robert that 'although he was on the insurance, it wasn't his car, he was not to modify it and I HAD PRIORITY if I wanted it.'
So first night, he took it out. second night, he took it out. Third night, I GOT IT. BUT
and heres the crux, after I took it out, I was 'asked' (and I say asked with apostrophes to show the fingers in the air signal) to give my car to Robert on MY ONLY NIGHTS OUT because he didn't want to take the bus to college. I MEAN, REALLY?!?!?! 
I cant drive my fucking car during the day because they have it for work, I cant drive it at night because HE has it, I cant drive it at weekends because HE has it.. WHEN DO I GET TO DRIVE THE FUCKING THING.
And when he damages it, because he will, he takes no care of anything that isn't his, I refuse to believe its not his fault, I refuse to pay for the damage repair. I literally might as well go and buy my own car, pay for the insurance, tax and petrol and not fucking bother with my little blue car. I don't get to drive it, why insure me on it?

So yet again, my brother has screwed me out of something else of mine.
The voices and I agree that family is not worth everything, especially when all they do is take.

new job, new will to live

And so from the beginning of October, I have been gainfully employed!!!! Well sort of, its only a Christmas job for 3 months... and its less than 10 hours a week at the minute... but its a start. =) and at least now its something recent to put on my cv other than - last actual paid job was 5 years ago!

I mean I enjoy working for the fabuloso company its with; Lush. I think they are brilliant. I mean, I love the fact I get to work in a shop that smells like heaven, has a VERY eco-friendly ethic, 100% vegetarian and 80% vegan product list. Not to mention, the fact that I get a excellent discount so I can test out products and relate them to the customer!! But as well as this, I haven't had a single working shift yet where I've felt bad.

I mean I feel a little worried that Ill make a big old mess up or something, but I don't think I've made any MAJOR problems, I can now restock, sort the stock room, demo , as well as make a knot wrap out of a vintage scarf and talk to customers without feeling like I'm going to potentially kill them XD; always a bonus. I mean, I won't possibly know as much as the core staff, but I am trying to learn and keep up, doesn't help that my short term memory sucks and if I don't write stuff down, its gone. But as they used to say in school ' repetition, repetition, repetition!' I pretty much constantly look like I am talking to myself if I am not with a customer XD ...

And I love the fact that my skin feels better than ever ^^ its all silky and lovely and sometimes smells like pear drops, and its pretty much consistently glittery from demonstrating the new Xmas massage bar (called Snow Fairy Sparkle) and I smell; like a Terry's Chocolate Orange (again from the snow fair sparkle AND a soap called Orange Jelly).
=D LOVING LIFE right now.
Ok so I only get paid once a month and its about half as much as I would get from being on JSA, but I don't really care to be honest. I'm employed and I'm earning a wage and I'm not relying on the Gov't so they can cease to call me a leach on the taxpayer ... *puts tongue out* NER!!
And actually now I think about it, I'm not relying on my parents either, not that I was while I was on JSA, but now it just feels a little bit more... Me being self reliant. Lol, I can see all the imaginary full time workers going 'you have no idea!'.

And they are sending me on training up in Holborn on Monday, soooo that'll be an education, literally, but I  get to write it all down this time XD. 

So all in all the voices and I are actually feeling a lot more mellow at the minute, I'm not sure whether its the semi-security and confidence boost from finally getting a small job, the essential oils I am pretty much steeped in, the fact I am earning on my own or maybe even a combination of all of the above. But I am definitely happier in myself, mostly. Still a lot of shit going down, but not as bad as before-ish. . .

So there you go really, a recommendation for Lush, product placement, a bit of a update on why I am such a miserable bitch most days and a look towards the near future ;)

The voices and I agree that things are looking up, just slightly

sometimes enough is enough

As I have posted before I have had few hobbies over the years that have ever lasted the test of time. But horse riding is one of them, over 18 years I have been riding and I have never claimed to be an expert, I don't even claim to be any good (having never competed) but I do claim to know my stuff.
But over the last few months I have been bullied and pushed around and spoken to like a piece of shit and I am sick of it. I have volunteered and been a client at the same stables for my entire riding life, and I can say that I have been taken advantage of, used and pretty much abused by all members of staff.

I recently injured my knee quite badly to the point of having to take regular morphine to try and put a cap on how painful it is. But even so, I love my job.. or did, so I went to work anyway and performed EVERY task I normally do and only at a slightly slower rate. But when the grandson of the owner turns around and says that I've done fuck all and whinged all day - even though we had been working for over 5 hours at this point, this was the first I had actually seen him all day, let alone spoken to him -, and I am incapable of doing the work and calling me all sort of names (please bare in mind that he is 7 years younger than I and still at school), I lost my rag. Having covered up for him on a number of occasions, helped him out and done a lot of the work meant for him because he takes 2 hours to muck out 4 stables, I was furious because I have never ONCE yelled at him for mucking around and skivving off albeit he does on a regular basis and gets away with it. And in recent months, the girls I normally work with and I have been warned repeatedly about the work not getting done, pretty much because he fucks off and leaves it all to us.

I had it.

I waited till customers had left, because despite what they all seem to think, I am not a complete bitch, and I told the owner I was going home. I had had enough of the shit, I was in serious pain and I wanted my wages. He could find someone else to cover for me and I didn't give a damn.

Not one word from him. Not a GODDAMNED word. 8 years of working for him and he didn't have a damn thing to say. So I never bothered to tell the others I was leaving, screw it, they've never covered my back when I've needed help. They never ask me to go out with them, when I ask them - they miraculously all have plans. So fuck it, Ive tried to be friends, I have done my best and they have all screwed me over. So I'll drop them all in it.

I really can't see the point in friends anymore, I really am struggling to find even the smallest glint of light. I have 1 solid friend who I have known for over 10 years who has always stood by my side and we have never ever had issue. 1 friend.
That's a sad fucking point if there ever was one.

I am going to post this and I can bet my one and only bottom dollar that if I don't broadcast this post on facebook, it wont get read. But there we go, proves my point that I either have shitty friends or people who claim to be friends who aren't or I am indeed a complete and utter bitch but correct in my assumption that pretty much 99% of people aren't worth the effort.

sarcasm and will power are skills in todays job market

According to todays PM, I come under the label of Government leech dependant on taxpayers money to live a life of luxury and debilitating laziness.


Actually I would like to say that I am actively searching for work on a daily basis and my money is around 75% saved with the rest of it going towards food. So up yours Government prigs.

However, I was told that I am mandated to go and complete an 'employability' course to teach me how to find a job, write a CV, spell my name and get paid pittance for 18+ years of education.

After attending just 1 day of this 'course' I am already gnashing my teeth at some of the inadequacies of my so called tutor. First, we start 25 minutes late, then he spends every other minute for the next 45 texting on his phone. He then proceeds to inform us that he is also unorganised in that he forgot half the paperwork and has had to send his poor assistant to Islington to go pick it up (we are in Barking). 3/11 (not including me) of the other 'students' don't speak/write/read fluent English, 1/11 has dyslexia and has already done the course with City and Guild but in prison, 1/11 has already done the course and has no idea why she is there, and 4/11 can't even spell their own names.


Its been years since I have been top of the class but this is just ridiculous, I don't even have to do anything other than write my own name, correctly. How these people are expected to even perform is beyond my ken.
We are told to take a English literacy test... we have 35 minutes. I am finished in 7... and I got the highest score.
I MEAN WTF... it was like sitting a level 1 SAT test. what was the point, this was supposed to be a EL3 level (English literacy level 3). And I have to do this every day until Friday...


I. AM. GOING. TO. KILL. SOMETHING. SMALL. AND. FLUFFY!


If I make it to the end of the week without causing someone severe mental disorientation with the verbal bashing that is brewing within, I will officially become a believer in miracles.

I do have the will power to survive, I will do this. But my skill with sarcasm is definitely going to take some throwing around.

The voices and I agree that we are frustrated with todays jobmarket but we will survive.

we don't understand bitter leaf salad =/

 

 
Bitter leaf salad... why?
 

It tastes bitter... obviously... there is next to no nutritional value to it, no body eats it-unless they are desperately hungry- it gets thrown away by the kitchen staff (well I certainly hope it doesn't get reused). So as far as I can see, its a bit of a waste of money. Actually, quite a big waste of money seeing as how most restaurants use it and it is on nearly every dish that goes out to be served (minus the desserts).
 
I hate it. Not just the waste, but I hate the taste and the fact that a lot of chefs seem to think drowning it in vinaigrette seems to help. ... only if the vinaigrette is decent and doesn't overpower everything else on the plate.
 
 
 
 

and it gets stuck in your teeth =/
 

 
 
 
 
and the mustard seeds from the vinigarette are impossible to pick out your teeth without looking like a tramp.
 
 
 
 
So to all my cheffy friends out there... what IS the point of a bitter leaf salad?
 
The voices and I agree, we just don't understand weird cheffy whims of the palate

children should be seen and definately not heard... ever

Im on my holiday and Im ranting. Therefore one could deduce I am not essentially having a fabulous time.

Well no, now you mention it, I am not.

I love children, I do, I think some kids are the most fabulous creatures in the world, my niece and nephew obviously being my favourites! I enjoy teaching small tiny humans because quite frankly you will never get the same answer from a child that you would get from an adult, and the childs answer will not only not be the answer you were expecting, it will also be the answer that stuns you into silence whilst you try and think of a way out of it without answering.

But au contrare, there be a problemo. Since the NSPCC basically outlawed corporal punishment when it come to your children, the worlds noise level just went up a few hundred thousand decibels.

screaming...
shrieking...
crying...
whining...
tantrums...
hitting things...
throwing things...
swearing...
cussing...
yelling...
hissing... etc, etc.

children of the world.... S>T>F>U!


I have issues with migraines already without having to sit through a 2 hour session whilst im eating my dinner of you screaming your sodding lungs out because you are just throwing a brat spat. Even today, a child was screaming so loudly and at such a high pitch I genuinely thought it was someone blowing a whistle! And the family thought it was hilarious. Yeh, maybe for the first 2 times he did it, not after the 25 minute long session in which I am pretty certain he didn't breathe.

PARENTS!!! SHUT YOUR CHILDREN UP!



'shhhhh' and 'be quiet' obviously aren't working. try 'shut it or else no icecream/tv/moshi monsters/etc.'

What happened to parental control? My parents wouldn't have dreamed of letting me perform like that, not in a million years. I would of had 2 warnings, a quiet final warning telling me the punishment of the evening and then said punishment if I continued- usually sending to bed early/ no horseriding or swimming/visits to my nan or if I was being a seriously determined brat, a swift smack to the back of my legs.


Everyone over 20 remembers those, worse than having your arse smacked, the stinging and the redness and not being able to sit down properly... makes my legs twitch just to think of it.

Anyway back on track, a child under - lets say- 9 doesn't need a voice at the table, in the restaurant, DEFINATELY not in the cinema.
I don't mind screaming in the supermarket - God knows I would bloody scream as I hate shopping that much - because I can yell 'SHUT UP' from 2 rows away and the parents never know who it was! (Muwahahahaha)

But seriously, what happened to the age old mantra of 'Children should be seen and not heard'.... because me and the voices are going to starts a retro-flashback!

you SHOULD look a gift horse in the mouth

I have often said that one of my favourite hobbies is horse-riding, I've basically been in the saddle since the age of 3 and have ridding at the same stable for over 17 years.
Now I don't pretend to know my way around a dressage test, I have never competed nor have I ever owned my own horse, but working with the riding school I have learnt many of the quirks and no-nos of some of the beasties around me.

But it boils my blood when I see the people advertising their horses for sale. Some of the SHIT that they spout is hysterically laughable.
Reading some of the adverts is literally like trying to break a code without an ENIGMA device.

Advertised as -	True meaning -
‘Sad sale’	Horse is too small, always lame, no time, too many other horses, no money
‘Bomb proof’	Has seen the outside of the stable and hasn’t freaked out yet – hasn’t seen traffic, flapping bags, scary leaves in trees, cyclists, joggers,
‘Would suit novice’	Is dead in the mouth, is dead to the leg, deaf/blind, older than advertised,
‘Would suit mother/daughter share’	Mother can hold the horse whilst daughter tries to not get thrown off
‘Been there, done it’	Probably spent most of its life in stable, hacked out, competed once – didn’t win, waste of time
‘Schoolmaster’	Has seen inside of school once or twice
‘Backed and ridden’	Is probably NOT yet 3 years old, has had saddle and bridle on (possibly), ridden is a bit of a loose term – usually means a dummy was strapped on
‘few quirks’	Kicks, bites, lunges at moving objects, bad stable manners, hates farrier, bucks when asked for transitions, the list is endless
‘Resale due to time wasters’	The last lot wouldn’t pay the asking price
‘Special horse’	SPOILT/CRAZY
‘Competition horse’	Looks better than it rides – see ‘schoolmaster’
‘100% good to catch, box’	IF you leave it in its stable and blindfold it before trying to get it up the ramp closely followed with 5 other people and some ropes
‘bit green’	Current owner has no idea how to school said horse/pony and so it has done no work except hacking
‘looking for 5* home’	Looking for someone to pay through the nose
‘includes tack and rugs’	Tack probably old and crappy and doesn’t fit and rugs are torn, ripped and pretty useless except for rags
‘not for novice’	Horse will basically try and get you off any which way it can, regardless of endangering your life, in the fastest time possible

Ok, so sometimes you are guaranteed to find a diamond of a horse/pony but like anything, you will find your fair share of liars and cover ups.
If you are going to sell your beastie BE HONEST, I don't want to know all the crap, I want to see the animal, find out for myself if its sane, healthy, rideable. Get the animal vetted and checked by professionals.

The voices and I agree that the horsey people of the world are full of bullshit and sometimes you need a big ass broom to clear away the crap.

cellulite isn't sexy no matter how young you are.

 

Fashion is something that everybody take a part in, whether it be the conventional fashionista - following every trend, being a part of the masses, wearing what THE people of the fashion industry demand is the latest and highest of trends. Or if you sit at the opposite end of the scale, commenting on the stupid idea's, poor choices in matching clothing items, over accessorising, and the ready plethora of mistakes that celebs make in public.

We all take a part in some way, shape or indeed, fashion. I mean, most women will understand when I say we are all secret Miranda Priestly wannabes, positively ripping apart other peoples clothing and dress (non)sense.

So to get to todays rant, long delayed and much overdue, I am here to declare that I have had it up to the tips of my dinky little ears with having to see very underage young girls (sometimes as young as 7 or 8) wearing completely inappropriate clothes that show off way to much, in very public places.

I give an example, hot pants/shorts.
Yes I am aware it is summer, and it is hot, people want to get tans (although in Essex most twats wear too much fake tan to get a genuine one), girls want to look sexy, blah!

PEOPLE you are letting your VERY UNDERAGE CHILDREN go out in public with their asses hanging out. (see picture below - found via google).

In a world now filled with paedophiles and sex offenders, don't you think you are making it WAY too easy for them to operate?
Not to mention the horrifying fact that not only are 1in 3 of these children overweight, but also there is a very LARGE percentage of these girls who have HIDEOUS amounts of cellulite.

I mean, ew! I don't want to see your underage, cellulite rampant ass hanging out while I am trying to drink my fabulous frappuchino.

Or another example, boobtubes/strapless tops.
Im sorry but someone HAS to agree that if a child is 7 years old, its almost 99.9% certain that it has had no development of its mammary glands and therefore NO cleavage to put into a boobtube/strapless top. Whilst research has determined that girls are developing much younger these days, some experience their first periods as young as 8, it can still take YEARS to develop boobage - some girls don't even develop boobs until their late teens to early 20s despite menstruating (and no girlies fake boobs do not count - stop trying so hard).

Young men too, what is this manic obsession you all have with your trousers hanging around your kneecaps?! Do none of you realise that this practice actually started in the American judicial system?

Inmates were not allowed to openly show that they were having sexual relations with other inmates, so to show they were 'available' they would make sure their trousers hung lower to show off their boxers... Yeh guys, the whole 'make sure you don't drop your soap in the shower' joke, isn't a joke.

I love to talk about clothing, I do, I blame my best friend Sarah, if it wasn't for her I would literally be a total tom-boy who wore nothing but a t-shirt and jeans. I probably wouldn't know what a handbag was for and makeup would definitely be a complete mystery to me.
Don't get me wrong, my beloved mum has taught me well, I can dress myself well (when I choose to), apply make-up to stunning results but Sarah was the one who forced me to socialise ;) and I will never forgive her for it!

Here is the proof that I can look pretty and girly, I know many people believe these photos to be a myth and legend. >.> well, photo... Can't have all the pics in public domain!

But I also have to thank my mum again for never letting me out of the house looking like some of these imbeciles above. Please guys, when you  have children, don't make the same mistakes the parents of these folks have! TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO DRESS PROPERLY. And if you don't take the time, don't wonder at it when they bring home freaks, weirdies and much older men/women... you let them dress the way they dressed and now your going to have to suffer the consequences.

The voices and I agree that cellulite isn't sexy and nor are hairy boys bums!

some people really do like blowing their own brass band section.

I have been a very bad blogger recently due to severe bouts of self hatred, loathing for the internet, a general miserable outlook and disagreeable disposition. 
Having STILL not found a job I am forced on a daily basis to spend too much time on Facebook to fill the god given hours that persist in being too numerous. (In laymans terms I have F*** all else to do and Facebook updates quickly).

Since spending all this time one Facebook I have developed another pet hate. Hornblowers - no you historical nerds I don't mean Horatio - I mean people who love themselves so fucking much the world MUST have a daily duck picture (a picture that shows the poser pouting at the camera and looking like Donald Duck/Trump - see photo for example),

a daily update as to how awesome they are, how they achieved world domination by themselves, how they taught someone/thing how to do something when in fact they did not contribute at all.
I name no names but if I did this blog post alone would be about 3 pages long and the majority of them are definitely girls, although I don't hesitate to point out that there are more than their fair share of guys out their with a similar affliction.

For example, I have had many hobbies over the years and only 2 of them I have done religiously over the past 22 years (ok well maybe less since I didn't do them since birth). And when I say that I know what I am talking about I don't lie, if I don't know something I ask, I am WELL known in my family for asking inconvenient questions, but on this particular subject I do not. When someone comes along and starts taking credit for what I have done over the years, it pisses me off, but when they start telling me things that they do that they established and that I am obviously too stupid/ inexperienced to notice/know, I get royally FUCKED off. They don't even have 1:15 of the time and knowledge I have. SO STOP TRYING TO TELL ME.

AND DUCKFACES: just because you think the world and the camera loves you, doesn't mean you are God. You bombard us with pictures of you pouting in your favourite shade of lipstick that, by the way, doesn't suit you, dressed like a hooker from Candyland, covered in obscene tattoos. Don't mistake me, I like tattoos, but some of these images are disgusting. Just WHY..?

I like to be proud of my achievements, I like to share my achievements because I know that despite some of my more cynical friends, they are proud of me too. But when you lie and take credit for someone elses achievements or make getting a new tattoo an achievement or the fact that yay, you've starved yourself successfully for 3 days something to be proud of... you need your head checked.

So here is my top 10 list of things you SHOULD be proud of and let the world know and my top 10 list of things no one wants to know and you shouldn't share. (In no particular order.)

SHARE AWAY:
10) Education - SAT's, GCSE's, A-levels, Degrees (in a REAL degree not some shit like floristry or wine tasting), Passing Exams, Driving test
9) Job - Getting a job, getting a promotion, finishing a particularly hard project, sealing a deal, getting a bonus
8) Weight - losing some SAFELY (does not include via illness, anorexia, surgery, bulimia) or putting some on in an effort to build muscles
7) Breaking a personal best at something - does not include farting record.... just ew.
6) Doing something you never would normally do - i.e. I went caving and scuba-dived on a coral reef
5) Having a baby - Guys and Gals can do this one, it takes two to make a baby brew
4) Baby achievements - first steps, first word, first giggle - first poop does not qualify >.>
3) Family - significant birthdays, births,
2) Moving house - if you can afford to move out, my hat off to you!
1) Getting married - includes civil partnership

NO ONE CARES, DO NOT SHARE:
10) Education - floristry, wine tasting, harry potter and childcare do not count as education... these are HOBBIES
9) Job - if you have the worlds best job... no one wants to know- they'll just be jealous XD)
8) Weight - if you get stomach flu or just decide to stop eating for a week, that's not losing weight, its illness and if you lose more than 10% of your body weight over a specific time you actually classify as anorexic and should seek help.
7) Taking credit for someone else's work - your just an asshole
6) Getting your 15th tattoo - Must be nice to resemble a doodle pad but google a 90year old with tattoos and I bet you'll regret it.

5) Duck photos - if you love yourself THAT much, marry a mirror. We don't need a minute by minute of how much makeup you had to use, the new shade of crap lipstick, your new facial piercing colour diamante
4) Relationships - I don't want a week by week account of how many nauseating names you can come up with for each other - Snookums, babygirl,  lovecup make me want to upchuck. (this includes photos)
3) TV updates - I DONT CARE ABOUT FOOTBALL, BRITAINS GOT TALENT, BIG BROTHER, STRICTLY COME DANCING, I'M A CELEBRITY, AMERICAN IDOL, XFACTOR OR EASTENDERS.
2) Videos - jump out the screens, pokemon gaffs, music vids you cant understand, lyric vids and just stupid ones can naff off.
1) 'Bored' - just don't.

Think I have covered most bases here... as you can probably tell, I am in a royally foul mood but say what you like. This is my hate blog right now so either take it the way its meant to be read or sod off elsewhere. If you have any issues with the above statements -other than praise and agreement - please contact ihavenolife@gmail.com where your concerns will be ignored and deleted without response.

The Voices and I agree that Hornblowers can feck off.